sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
