i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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