Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
