Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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