He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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