ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
