I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
