she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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