so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
