I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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