It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
