bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize