That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
