I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
