official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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