i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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