so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
