Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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