people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
