Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
