We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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