Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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