apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Help. Why am I so naked?
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