You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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