I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
