I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
