The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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