So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
