so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
