I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
