I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Randomize
