What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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