Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
