Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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