why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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