so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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