It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
