I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
