I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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