How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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