honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
