Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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