She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
