We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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