We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
