I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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