when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
