You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
