Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
