I hate all girls vehemently.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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