Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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