You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
