i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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